Ask Us

You have a question for us?

Well, we welcome it with open arms, minds and nostrils. Please be specific about what you want to know, because we’re Whiff Doyens, not psychics or Braile tea-leaf readers.

We’ll contemplate your query with the utmost of consideration and thoughtfulness - throw it onto the stack of other inquiries, play a game of hide-n-go-seek, take a shower, watch some reruns of the
Sopranos, and then answer you in just three days, more or less - well, probably more.

If you have an urgent question, call our Ask The Whiff Guys Hotline - You can find our number in the Yellow Pages between “Ask Jeeves” and “Ask Dr. Ruth.”

Honestly, we really want your questions, and we reserve the right to use the material in whatever way we wish. We certainly need more filler for our next book- and who knows? Maybe your question will just make our day. In any regard, you can expect an honest answer, even if it contains a little sarcasm.