The Wafting Smell of Politics

With all of the recent research into how everyday scents impact and affect the human brain, advertisers and marketers have begun using scents to increase brand loyalty, gain notice, and–most of all–increase the bottom line.

Studies have found that certain scents can trigger all sorts of emotions, increase moods, help with memory and comprehension, enhance a person’s perception, and even get them excited.

In Whiff! The Revolution of Scent Communication in the Information Age, we document hundreds of studies on how we can use scent to enhance our image, trigger certain reactions in others, and even motivate them to take action. Since the sense of smell is the only sense that is directly hard-wired to the human’s emotional “right brain” center, it’s logical to consider how political strategists might make use of this startling phenomenon.

Can McCain change his “old man” image? Well, research has found specific scents that can make a woman appear to be at least six years younger to men–good news for Hillary Clinton or Nancy Polosi who could feasibly face the 2012 election looking more like 2006. There’s no word yet on how to make a man appear younger, but maybe that’s working from the wrong angle for McCain, anyway. He might be better off just funding a study to discover a scent that would make everyone except him look older.

Could John Edwards have avoided his alleged illegitimate fatherhood and the downfall of his political career? Maybe. One university study showed that men could absolutely determine a woman’s fertility with just a whiff of her underarm sweat (the subjects sniffed females’ t-shirts). Another study showed how women on the pill were more prone to be attracted to macho caveman-like males with strong jaw lines, while women not on the pill were more responsive to the pretty boy type (another t-shirt study). So decidedly-pretty-Edwards could have been forewarned that he was susceptible to attracting fertile, unprotected women.

Can we sniff out lying politicians? A study conducted by Dr. Alan Hirsch of the Chicago-based Smell and Taste Research & Treatment Center attempted to find a scent that could make car salesmen seem more honest to potential buyers. It seems that no such scent could be found. Fortunately, another study showed that we could at least determine when someone was lying, for the subject’s noses grew just a little bigger while telling an untruth. This Pinnochio-polygraph occurs when the blood vessels increase in size as one is repeating a falsehood.

While the figurative Smell of Politics has been around as long as the ancient adage of “I smell a rat,” political strategists have not yet caught on to how big brand marketers are now employing the modern science of smell in touting their wares. It would behoove everyone in politics to pay attention to how scent can affect the public’s perception of a candidate.

The Whiff! book coins the term endorphin branding™, referring to how a signature scent delivered during an adrenaline-filled event can strategically tattoo enthusiastic feelings and physiological changes solidly into the participants’ memories and emotional brain centers. The scent can then be used in subsequent brochures, mailings, events, and even on election day to trigger a repeated pattern of emotional and physiological response in the voter.

When we smell baby powder, fresh-cut grass, a former lover’s perfume, or maybe the grease-and-sawdust of a country carnival, we immediately recall a pleasant or positive memory in the form of pictures and feelings within the mind. We all have hundreds of scents that bring on this nostalgic mental imagery and accompanying feelings.

This new understanding of scent’s effects brings a whole new meaning to image-making and brand management. And scent plays a very large role in image making for celebrities nowadays. With almost every major star in Hollywood creating and hawing their own signature scent, it won’t be long before the new celebrity-come-politicians will be following suit.

If the idea of our aspiring leaders creating individual signature scents ala J-Lo’s Glow sounds preposterous to you, consider this little-known fact regarding South Korea’s 2007 presidential race. In an operation dubbed The Perfume of the President, staffers for former Seoul-mayor Lee Myung-bak”>Lee Myung-bak covertly scented the air at all public appearances with a specially designed fragrance. On the December 19 election day, every voting booth at every precinct was saturated with the same scent, guaranteeing a Proustian triggered response in every voter who had been previously exposed to it. Now president of South Korea, Lee Myung-bak garnered 48.7% of the vote–nearly as many votes as all ten of his opponents combined.

This is not to imply that endorphin branding™ alone snared nearly half the country’s votes for a single candidate in an eleven-man-contest, of course. But, with numbers like these, if that branded scent can be credited for even a small fraction of swing votes, the implications remain astounding.

Lee Myung-bak’s fragrance, “Great Korea,” was designed to evoke feelings of “hope, victory, and passion.” Let’s have just a little fun with this idea by dreaming up some celebrity-branded signature perfumes that some of today’s American political strategists might employ. Given that just about all political campaigns are negative these days, we’ll coin these perfumes as if the opposing party were concocting the designer scents.

Our own political views are not reflected here, for we are Marxist in nature (Groucho Marxist). Meaning that we wouldn’t to belong to any club that would accept us as members.

New Designer Perfumes for Political Celebrities
Soon after his exit from office, George Bush will retire his classic “Decider” line–which nobody really ever bought anyway–in favor of “Legacy de Phew.” It doesn’t smell as good as “Decider,” but its impressive shelf life guarantees that even your grandchildren will enjoy it.

Our sources reveal, however, that Bush’s “Legacy de Phew” is actually owned by a dummy corporation of Dick Cheny’s, which also markets the VP’s own fragrance, “Maître de Marionnette.”

Barack Obama’s initial fragrance choice, “Change,” had to be…well, changed. Turns out it was only appreciated by the middle class. Its replacement, to be launched just prior to election day, will be a catchy little scent called “Movin’ On Up.”

In keeping up with current trends, John McCain has also been hard at work concocting his new signature scent. After so many years as an “Old Spice” man, his new creation, “Forgettable,” boasts a subtle hint of rose oil–known to increase memory function in the septuagenarian set.

Hillary’s new perfume is a bittersweet concoction called “It’s My Party.” As for husband-Bill, after a focus group declared his previous fragrance “What Is-Is?” too pungent, the formula was replaced by a diluted version, “Eternal Doghouse.”

VP hopeful Joe Biden remains undecided between several fragrance choices, including “Copycat,” “It Should Have Been Me,” and “Banana No.2.”

Sarah Palin is similarly torn between a number of possibilities, including “Russian Breeze,” “Over My Head,” “Out of My League,” and that old standby, “Moose Musk.” Her previous choice, “Huh?” was eliminated after discovery of an existing copyright by George W. Bush.