Colbert’s Scratch ‘n’ Sniff Bible

Noting the Pope’s non-traditional new baseball cap headgear, Stephen Colbert reported last week that “the church is building on the momentum of the new Pope-Cap with additional youth outreach strategies,” such as the launch of CatholicTV.com - a Boston-based 3-D internet site designed to “change the church’s stuffy image.”

“You might want to expand your arsenal of youth-oriented gimmicks,” suggests Colbert, who is always thinking one step ahead (it was Colbert who echoed Whiff-Guy C. Russell Brumfield’s notion of Scented Money, allowing the blind to differentiate between denominations). “Might I recommend a Scratch ‘n’ Sniff Bible?”

Okay, he’s joking…but if any savvy Bible-binders pick up on the idea, we hope they’ll consult the Whiff-Guys for the particulars. We’ve got fragrance suggestions for every scene from the Garden of Eden (fresh!) to Noah’s Ark (not-so-fresh!) and…yes, Stephen…we concur that Lazarus probably would smell “a little ripe.”