Don’t Drink & Drive? Po-leeze.

It’s not what you are, it’s what people think you are that matters. Such might be the tag line for a new product called AntiPoleez. Unlike most breath fresheners, says the website, AntiPoleez doesn’t work by masking stinky breath with a minty cover-scent. This product is supposed to neutralize the odors by increasing “the consumption of odor-producing molecules by the epithelium of the mucous coat of the respiratory passages, resulting in clean, fresh breath.”

Now, don’t let the name–or that busty female cop logo on every page of the website–or the fact that AntiPoleeze is available in a FratPack, a Double-FratPack, and a Party-FratPack–fool you. The makers of AntiPoleeze emphasize that they are “…concerned about alcohol abuse and continue to encourage responsible drinking,” and that creator Vladimir Slasniv developed the product for his own personal use after his girlfriend objected to the smell of alcohol on his breath, NOT for the benefit of those drunk-driving menaces who might be, oh, say, looking to evade breathalyzers. “We give our Law Enforcement Officials more credit than to think that a lozenge could prevent a police officer from getting drunk drivers off the road before they hurt themselves or someone else.”